I am really suffering insomnia. It is 04.09 am and still I am up. I wanted to sleep but bed was too hot and too cold. I just couldn’t sleep and to tell the truth I don’t like this situation at all. I want to be normal. I want to go to bed no later than midnight and sleep 9 hours like normal people.

Unfortunately it is not happening. I have all these stuff about school and work in my mind. But you know what? I am not doing any shit for both. I am just thinking and thinking but not committing any action. I am just looking at John Ziman’s Prometheus Bound on my desk. I was supposed to start reading long time ago but all I have done till now is a huge nothing. I really need to spend more time for school and read. I am feeling sad about my laziness. I have a great opportunity and I don’t have the luxury of blowing it. I know there are many people who would wish to be in my place.

I guess I will connect all these to loneliness again. Yes, I am feeling lonely and I desperately need a cure for this loneliness. I need to meet more people and socialize more. Maybe I might be more “normal” again. I want to feel at peace. I know it won’t be easy while I am still at war with myself…

P.S. I am really sick for a week. I am coughing like a donkey and still have an awful sore throat.